tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81361854054231765802011-04-22T10:52:47.321+10:00Been there, done that, decided to come back.Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.comBlogger451100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-78216214451112628122009-04-23T23:32:00.002+10:002009-04-24T00:04:08.030+10:00

I just re read not the last post, but the one before, from December!It's funny how it all worked out.Turns out, that due to advice from most of my friends, i did not quit when I said I would.I quit as of my birthday, so for the second time in my life, I have to apply for centrestink ON MY BIRTHDAY.I think 28 year old me = EPIC FAIL!The latest boy I mentioned... Of course drunk me mentioned it to

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-41199849270743196472009-04-23T23:17:00.002+10:002009-04-23T23:31:24.371+10:00

But I am sort of unpredictable like this. This really isn't the forum to be writing this. But to be honest, I really just can't be bothered to start another blog. And my counsellor is booked out til May 6th.And, me, who loves telling strangers and friends alike every final detail of my person life, just really doesn't want to anymore.I have my close friends, but over the last 3 weeks, I've been

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-51523035064477845502008-12-18T17:53:00.003+10:002008-12-18T18:16:43.418+10:00

It's bad again. I am quitting my job with nothing to go to, for the second time in my life. At least this time I don't have to apply for Centrelink benefits on my birthday.I just moved too- the timing is so crap.I got ridiculously drunk last night at a meetup with some friends from school, two of whom didn't go to the reunion. It was fun, I told embarrassing stories about myself, and ended up

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-26448019590464944352008-12-10T20:09:00.002+10:002008-12-10T21:42:30.811+10:00

But my counsellor and close friends are getting it. I try to write daily, but it's not happening- I need to make time morning and night for it.I'm still having boy troubles, I'm still struggling with money and weight. But I'm starting to accept myself. I no longer fight with my parents, I realise that they want to run my life for me. I just don't accept or put up with it- walking away is

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-36560636613693280782008-10-28T22:14:00.003+10:002008-10-28T23:05:42.747+10:00

It's no wonder I'm on prozac, my life just takes dramatic twists and turns daily.Mister, from this post has a long distance GF. He believes it is ok for us to do "stuff" but not go to home base. And so I told him by MSN that I was not comfortable with this, blah, blah, and his response was so typically male it was predictable.Stop thinking about stuff and just go with the flow. Or along those

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-39102964920377517942008-10-27T20:31:00.003+10:002008-10-27T20:53:52.509+10:00

Things I love to do:Discover new awesome musicBe stupid with friendsHave remedial massagesHave completely honest and open conversations with friendsSwim in the oceanRead great booksLay in bed and do nothingDrink Red winePlay board gamesPartake in retail therapyRun sand through my handsWrite down my thoughtsProcrastinateHave someone else cook me breakfastWrite lists

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-5563443940929198262008-10-26T21:26:00.005+10:002008-10-26T22:33:42.505+10:00

I don't even check the email address for this much anymore. But the blog is staying open, as writing is what seems to help me process things the best.This weekend has been confusing, fun, heartwarming, gutwrenching, relaxed, all at the same time. A Hollywood blockbuster in one normal Springtime weekend.The parentals were away from Friday lunchtime until Sunday morning...At lunchtime Friday, my

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-30215492798248825612008-09-29T22:10:00.001+10:002008-09-29T22:21:07.973+10:00

I am back at the parentals place, and I spent the first night there at a friend's place watching the football and Predator. The second night, I wasn't home until 9:30- so it's working very nicely atm. I managed to get an injury packing. I'd left work early on Friday to go home and pack, cause I promised Flatmate (who'll need a new name now!) that that I would not have a drink until I'd

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-50642425525980374292008-09-23T20:07:00.001+10:002008-09-23T20:20:57.094+10:00

Monday nights are usually quiet ones, and last night should have been no exception. Except Swede had volunteered to come over to help me pack boxes, and I offered to feed her dinner and give her a glass of wine. And then I was to drive her home. One glass turned into two, and we decided that she'd be staying over and I'd drive her home in the morning, in time for her driving lesson. We

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-86102752455887390182008-09-21T13:08:00.003+10:002008-09-21T13:49:23.343+10:00

I am still feeling positive about moving back in with the parentals. I think the reason it is different this time, is because I really do not care if anyone thinks negatively of me for it.I think a lot of this has to do with the new counsellor, who has helped me realise that a few things about my relationship with my Mum are a little toxic.She was/ still is a classic helicopter parent, and my

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-25480809733088585732008-09-14T22:22:00.002+10:002008-09-14T22:36:35.218+10:00

Earlier today I spilled water over my laptop. I left it 10 minutes, switched it on and it made strange fizzling sounds and died.I then pulled out the battery, left it upside down on the lounge and read a book. I went out, came home and switched it back on and nothing! I cried...I had a shower and calmed down, being clean tends to be a nice relaxant. I plugged it into the mains and voila, it

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-5819717923673711472008-09-02T21:00:00.004+10:002008-09-02T21:04:40.637+10:00

Today was the lowest it's got, then it got better.But back when it was at the lowest, I had a good friend who happens to be an ex tell me I am smart and not a failure, and everything will work itself out.I know it wont happen all at once, it will take a bit longer than I had hoped. But knowing I have friends like him, and all others who've stuck by me and supported me through this, makes me know

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-33540976634592643752008-08-30T11:46:00.003+10:002008-08-30T12:06:48.103+10:00

I want to put that as my status on FB, but I know that a million wall posts and messages will come with it.It's not as dire as it sounds. It's just that I am flat broke and have no income entering my bank account in the foreseeable future, I'm sleepy all the time, have a sticky kitchen floor, a heap of washing to put away, flaky skin on my face, the nose STILL hurts, I have to go to my grnadmas

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-63609805244399244582008-08-25T21:30:00.003+10:002008-08-25T22:01:12.329+10:00

I have to look out for myself because I have no one else to do it for me. Nor should anyone else be responsible for me.I will accept myself for who I am. I will accept that I do things a bit (sometimes a lot!!) differently to "normal" people.I also have to accept that I'm never going to be one of those people who appear to be perfect and flawless on the outside. I'm scarred and imperfect on

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-65237013676412435612008-08-24T21:20:00.002+10:002008-08-24T22:13:05.601+10:00

The operation seems to have worked so far. Breathing is a bit easier, but it's still got a long while to go before the nose is completely healed.It's been an interesting few weeks since I last blogged too. I have rested up, mostly. There have been a few big nights out- Ekka holiday Eve with Max, a trip to the football to watch the Lion's beat the Bulldogs with B, Max and my friend from

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-20273820734579229252008-08-03T12:45:00.004+10:002008-08-03T13:46:08.625+10:00

I think everyone's goal in life should be to be happy. But so many people aren't and don't do a thing about it. Whether it be through laziness, ignorance, or because they're just too stupid to see what it is that makes them truly feel happy.Me? I have too many contradictions to ever be 100% happy. I am not going to be happy in a long term relationship because I bore easily. Yet one night

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-40939111321965975512008-08-01T21:31:00.005+10:002008-08-03T13:43:06.081+10:00

I am 100% sober tonight. I am on a self imposed ban on having fun. So I am at home at quarter to 10 on a Friday night drinking water, texting RB's chicky and facebook chatting with another guy I went to school with.Yes, you read right. Messaging her. She is currently at RB's place drinking and watching the football. Life sucks, should be me, blah blah. I hate crushes!!!The thing is Flatmate

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-65732419619486900302008-08-01T15:36:00.003+10:002008-08-01T15:50:07.937+10:00

The annoying bogan from Ipswich, or the Bad Smell as I've been referring to him as to my friends, came over this afternoon. He had to pick up his jumper which he left here. I have to admit the only reason I invited him over to pick it up was because I liked the attention he was giving me.I had lunch with Max and B today, and we all shared our plans for the afternoon. The two of them were both

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-61259010771367424642008-07-27T18:34:00.003+10:002008-07-27T18:39:06.419+10:00

My 10 year high school reunion was on last night. Went way too quickly and I got WAYYYYYYY too drunk!!Was fun and I want to do it again, although sleeping with an old classmate and getting home at 11:30 am will not be on the agenda.Friday night was a trivia night with Flatmate and Max, and then a catch up with the posse. I kissed 4 people, 3 of them girlies, and then bought an annoying 19 year

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-84240084211749450202008-07-19T21:27:00.002+10:002008-07-19T21:33:04.462+10:00

Last night could not have been weirder if it tried.I knew I said I wouldn't be round, but this may help to explain a bit about how I came to the second meltdown of 08...I didn't want to sit at home on a Friday night while DG and Flatmate had their separate birthday drinks. I wanted to be round my friends who support me, rather than mope at home by myself. In hindsight, that would have been a

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-18706611174779455312008-07-17T19:25:00.002+10:002008-07-17T20:17:25.501+10:00

I am going to see RB on Friday night, but he's bringing a date.In other somewhat related news, I wont be round for a while. Breakdown, life will be changing. Can only be a good thing.

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-84982862917502888082008-07-14T21:50:00.000+10:002008-07-14T21:53:33.297+10:00

I went on what I thought was an awesome date last night. We had heaps in common, didn't stop talking.Got the "I only want to be friends" text at about 8pm tonight, while out to dinner for DG's birthday.I cried at the restaurant.I cried all the way home on the bus.I messaged the Swede telling her that's what I did.I was home at 8:30, and by 9:10, I was emailing an ex who is coming to the Coast on

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-47005773846760656792008-07-10T20:28:00.002+10:002008-07-10T20:42:03.094+10:00

It has been a good week. I found out yesterday that I had passed an exam that I did a few weeks ago. It was a three day course that work paid for so that's a huge relief! And not only did I gain the required 65% to pass it- I scored 80%! Great considering the last closed book exam I did was in 2000! And the practice exam I had done right before it I only just scraped by with a pass. I

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-53588016878174320232008-07-07T21:23:00.004+10:002008-07-19T20:48:33.352+10:00

I've been sick again, but I've seen a specialist and I am having an operation soonish to get it fixed. No exact date yet, but I am really looking forward to it! 10 days off work recovery, and I'll look and feel like someone has punched me in the face.Death seems to be hovering around. My friend Tall One's favourite Aunty who I've met and was so lovely and kind, succumbed to cancer last week,

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-40709993149217479052008-06-23T20:47:00.002+10:002008-06-23T20:51:42.903+10:00

People have to stop dying!It was Sharon from work a few weeks ago. Then last week it was the twin's grandma.Yesterday it was Moo's 33 year old brother. Motorbike accident. He left a beautiful young woman a widow, and Moo absolutely devastated. He was her third immediate family member to die in 10 years. That girl needs a break, whoever is up there. Shine some light down on her and let only

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-8732472365332699132008-06-23T20:45:00.000+10:002008-06-23T20:47:11.043+10:00

I don't want flowersI know you do not mean itI just want a shag

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-40963116184360895252008-06-23T20:43:00.001+10:002008-06-23T20:45:35.038+10:00

And he turned out to be an asshole who doesn't return SMSes. Number deleted from her phone.

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-5900181516062307962008-06-15T22:10:00.001+10:002008-06-15T22:12:30.668+10:00

She sat there deleting some of the 800 odd messages in her phone’s inbox. She chewed on her bottom lip and felt the butterflies in her stomach. She could believe she was going through with this, and was nervous that he wouldn’t show. She fiddled with the stereo to pick the perfect song, but couldn’t find it, so she switched it off. She called her friend instead, scared that she’d been stood

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-9401803883509695002008-06-11T20:24:00.001+10:002008-06-11T20:38:40.474+10:00

I find what Nick D'Arcy allegedly did quite abhorrible.But he's hot!

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-40010585750638771382008-06-10T21:07:00.001+10:002008-06-10T22:36:06.296+10:00

The sinus infection is back

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-45775506653900386502008-06-09T21:15:00.002+10:002008-06-09T21:59:52.181+10:00

Is bringing all the boys to the yard.Friday night I was out with work people and messaging Flatmate, who replied saying his hot mate was there. So I grabbed B by the arm and pretty much dragged her over the river and towards the pub where Flatmate and his mates were.On the way we sung "Bridge Over Troubled Water", Under The Bridge" and "We Built This City", high fived randoms (B), laughed

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-2209649178439204732008-06-02T22:31:00.003+10:002008-06-02T22:55:09.819+10:00

I’ve drunk a lot of beer over the last few weeks when I’ve been out, and I’ve never bought any of it. I don’t know if I’d know how to order it at a bar!! Over the last few weeks my flatmate and I have become closer as friends. Now I can tell you right now nothing will happen. He knows too much about me, and likewise me about him. I like it that way, I miss having guys as good mates. My

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-4659185974366083802008-05-26T21:03:00.002+10:002008-05-26T21:23:06.843+10:00

I got to work this morning and there was an email saying a colleague on our floor had died suddenly. It was Sharon, who I'd had a nice chat with in the lift Friday afternoon, about our plans for the coming weekend. I left her saying "See you Monday". I wasn't and she wasn't to know it wouldn't happen. She had been on the phone to her mother on Friday night. A blood clot burst in her brain.

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-63130179498448686612008-05-22T18:03:00.000+10:002008-05-22T18:04:06.841+10:00

Whatever you do will not always be right- someone, somewhere will find it wrong. Do not feel guilt from horrible mistakes you’ve made in the past that have hurt people. You made that mistake so you know not to do that again. You can say sorry and mean it, yet people won’t accept it. That is their problem if they can’t find it in their heart to forgive you.Yet sometimes terrible things

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-85414194701123593832008-05-20T20:34:00.002+10:002008-05-20T20:38:10.112+10:00

A fun activity, once you've had a few drinks is NOT to look up info about your ex on facebook. For those of you who remember the accountant, well, I found out he has another girlfriend. The only thing to do is to know deep in my heart that I am prettier than her (so true- she's a bit mole-like) And to add the hot young blond friend of my flatmate as my friend on there.It's the only thing to

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-20644792574760718462008-05-19T13:12:00.002+10:002008-05-19T13:41:47.001+10:00

Reading back over the last week, it would seem I am so unhappy with my life. Yet I am not- which is probably an indication in itself that the drugs are working...I have a great flatmate, who I get along very well with, so home life is relaxed. I have two parents who are still married after 30 years, and who I love and miss and try to see as much as possible. I have some great friends who know

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-27980887248403437562008-05-16T19:16:00.002+10:002008-05-16T19:48:30.555+10:00

I've always thought I was not normal. I've always been somewhat of an outsider. I don't follow trends. Well I guess I would have to some degree in primary school just to fit in, but I distinctly recall in high school not following what other people thought I should be like. Doing my own thing.And now I do it to an even bigger extent. The posse are all a little pretentious. I'm told off for

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-66778545829281572052008-05-15T20:59:00.003+10:002008-05-16T00:58:39.039+10:00

Well I am still waiting, which in itself tells me he's not interested. That's ok. I've dealt with much worse things this year alone.The assault for example. It's wrecked me. I have no confidence in myself anymore, it has depleted my self esteem. It's brought the depression back and with that has been the major weight gain.I am trying to solve this pharmaceutically, but it's not too

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-77965487926971156242008-05-14T16:08:00.000+10:002008-05-16T20:06:26.130+10:00

It’s not only this crush thing that is getting me down, but it’s on my mind the most. I am doing a job at work I do not like. I had no choice in the matter, and was pushed into it. Plus the tasks that I actually do like doing are being taken away from me and given to people I don’t like. And I have to teach them how to do it. I have had sinus infections for weeks on end, with no sign of

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-42834284552802284592008-05-13T21:01:00.003+10:002008-05-13T21:54:25.350+10:00

Meh looks like all it takes is a little candor, and I can't stop!!I was emailing my flatmate today and casually slipped it into conversation that I wanted said hot blond boys number, or flatmate could just give him my number.I've spoken to flatmate since I've been home, and nothing has been said in relation to that so far...I'm guessing nothing will happen, cause that's my luck. I'm sad about it

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-69099374597555795162008-05-12T20:28:00.002+10:002008-05-12T20:57:00.373+10:00

Sorry, I had hoped this would be a regular thing, but it looks like it will be quite sporadic.I have a problem. I have a crush on the workmate of my flatmate. He is surfy looking, has a nice body, generally hot, 5 years younger than me and oh yeah, I've already slept with him. Which my flatmate knows about.But I've been overcome with such shyness that I cannot even ask my flatmate to give me

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-59874650073526675732008-04-01T20:00:00.003+10:002008-04-01T20:06:43.914+10:00

THE WORLDS SHORTEST FAIRYTAIL... Once upon a time a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?", the girl said "No" and she lived happily every after and went shopping, drank vodka tonics with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny and was

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-58707212850412147262008-03-26T21:46:00.003+10:002008-03-27T17:10:20.860+10:00

Here are the rules: ~Pick fifteen of your favourite movies. ~Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie. ~Post them here for everyone to guess. ~Strike it out when someone guesses correctly in the comments, and put who guessed it and the movie. (I can't access my gmail or blogger from work so this will be updated nightly only) ~NO Googling or using IMDb search functions. 1. What's so

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-52316752800712023862008-03-25T22:16:00.002+10:002008-03-25T22:23:44.674+10:00

Is great because you can learn many interesting and varied things, read mindless celebrity gossip, discover music and TV shows you would not normally be exposed to, you can blog and read blogs, you can email your mum articles about a boy murdering his dad and trying to kill his mum in which your aunty is quoted, amongst many other glorious things.It is bad because you can order a pizza, garlic

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136185405423176580.post-21492488106701787052008-03-17T17:57:00.001+10:002008-07-19T21:00:41.614+10:00

The Liberals won the election. I am getting too fat for most of my clothes, yet I continue to eat high energy foods like they're going out of fashion. I want a pet turtle. I went out on Friday night where a seemingly nice Irish gentleman told me, and I quote, “You have a whore face”. I suffer eczema and over the last week it has flared up, with it scabbing, flaky skin and blood. Very

Lil B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14450103643754728335noreply@blogger.com2